5 ways to lead a more romantic life

Italian dolce vita and California slow living

Do you ever wish you lived a more romantic life? I think the average person underestimates their power in changing their daily circumstances and how to make their life more pleasurable. Here in Italy, they are known for la dolce vita, a cultural identity focused on pleasure. Italians indulge in beautiful cars, strong coffee, designer clothes and trips to Mediterranean beaches.

To me, a romantic life is less gold hoops and Ferraris and more of the old-fashioned slow pace that I was introduced to in California. I will never forget ordering coffee and people asking me what I’m doing with my day or commenting on yesterday’s sunset. My favorite part of California, the Central Coast, has even been nicknamed “SLO Cal” (a play on the city of San Luis Obispo as well as the slower pace of life in the central coast). I got to “try out” slow life in the van, relishing weekends without access to the internet. I usually did lots of reading, went on tons of hikes, cooked good food and drank good wine, and would come back to reality feeling completely recharged.

It seems most of my adulthood I rushed to be a successful business person, and once I realized it wasn’t making me happy, I have been trying to give myself more of the life I envisioned for myself as a child. I thought I would become my writing heroine Jo March from Little Women, who stayed up all night in her New England attic, falling asleep with ink blots on her fingers, wrapping up her manuscript in a piece of twine. The reality of working in corporate America is much different. The drudgery of the daily commute became my routine so fast, I didn’t even notice the years go by. This is why I think it’s important to give yourself moments of whimsy every day.

While I’ve certainly taken advantage of my new physical surroundings to make my life more romantic, you don’t need to move to a new country to take advantage of adding glamour to your daily routine. Small gestures make daily life more sweet, and they don’t involve spending a lot of money or taking lots of risk. Whether that be taking a different route en route to the metro or dancing while washing dishes, there are plenty of ways to make life more pleasurable. Here are some ways I create a more romantic world for myself.

Reading Fiction

Reading good fiction is one of my greatest pleasures. Once you sink into a good novel it’s so delicious, each bite a trip into a vivid imaginary world you can escape into. By reading, you can travel without ever leaving your home, try new professions without taking any risk, and even sample new relationships. I try to read every day, mostly in the mornings when I first wake up.

Making myself a bowl of pasta

Something about a little bowl of pasta screams seduction to me. It feels good to collect herbs, to boil and salt water, to simmer tomatoes on the stovetop. Cooking something from scratch feels good. I also love to use all of my fancy plates and cups during daily life. It makes meals feel like more of a sacred ceremony.

Coffee and journaling

When I lived in San Diego, my favorite routine was to go to my barre3 studio in North Park and then bring my journal or computer and do a bit of writing over a coffee. I loved picking the most vibe-y cafes and settle in with some journaling prompts. Of course, you can also enjoy making coffee or tea at home. In the van we use our aeropress, in the States we loved our chemex, and here in Italy our moka is a part of my morning ritual. The sound of the moka bubbling on the stovetop makes me happy. I love buying beautiful mugs and sourcing high quality coffee and taking my time in the mornings. I also invested in a milk frother for making cappuccinos at home. After everything is prepared, I take my coffee to bed and start journaling. It helps me slow down and be present.

Coffee made in the aeropress in the van, served in a tin astrology mug :)

Walks in nature

Taking myself on a walk in nature is very important to my internal balance. Even when I lived in places that did not have direct access to nature, like my urban studio in Philadelphia, I found ways to cherish small things, like walking by a tiny garden in someone’s side yard, or putting my bare feet in the grass at our local city park. When I first moved to San Diego and didn’t have many friends yet, I would take my landlord’s dog for a Friday afternoon walk to my sacred cove and feel completely blissed out hearing the sound of the waves.

Buying myself flowers

I was buying myself flowers well before Miley Cyrus’ song came out. I used to work at a flower shop in high school and have always been a fan of having fresh flowers around. When I lived in Philadelphia I belonged to a cut flower CSA and it was my favorite biweekly treat to ride my bike down the street and pick-up my locally grown bouquet. These lasted a full two weeks and they were always the most beautiful arrangements. Here in Italy I haven’t found a flower CSA but I occasionally splurge on a bouquet from the local street vendor here when I see something that catches my eye.

summer CSA bouquet

I am so glad I had these rituals for when I faced the crazy part of moving to new places: the terror of starting from zero, of meeting new friends, of beginning again. What about you? What are little ways you make your life more romantic? I’d love to know in the comments.

This post was inspired by

Molly Ella

and her article over at Slow Scottish Stories.