how I learned to speak Italian
starting from zero means committing to your why
This year I’ve been practicing the art of being a beginner. A year ago I started a new job, I created a new side business, I committed to regular posts in my newsletter, and I started learning Italian culture and language. I believe that getting really good at learning new things is an important life skill.
Exactly one year ago, in December of 2022, I learned my first words in Italian. I remember taping post-it notes on my kitchen cabinets with the basics, like “mattina,” “pomeriggio” and “notte”. Having already learned French, which took me the better part of a decade, I thought I knew what I was in for.
I was wrong! I was reminded that being a beginner will make a fool out of you. There would be weeks where I didn’t want to hear an Italian word - the sound reminding me of how little I understood and how long I had to go. There were so many times where the person I was speaking to didn’t understand me and switched to English. I would get discouraged, continue along in English, my shoulders slumping and head down. Neapolitans are friendly and outgoing, should it be this hard?
But then, there were weeks in which I was sopping up a new podcast or tv show like a shriveled up sponge, wanting to hear more and more. I remember the cranial fatigue after a week in Italian school: my brain was a grilled cheese sizzling in a pad of butter, and afterwards my thoughts were melted and gooey. I became hooked on that feeling of brilliance. This feeling of brain kettlebells, of feeling like I was on intellectual fire, was something that kept me going even after setbacks.
The bane of my existence in 2023 was Duolingo. I foolishly enabled notifications, and every day Duo would “be sad” if I didn’t log-in, sending me peevish owl tears while I was in the middle of cooking dinner. The most frustrating day came during a 29 day streak, when I logged on during my metro commute and completed my lessons “offline”. I woke up the next day with my streak broken, and I vowed to never log-in again (completing the lessons offline must not have registered). At one point, because I hadn’t logged in for so long, the UI of my app changed from a smiling and happy owl to a sick, distorted, melting owl face that looked like a victim on Breaking Bad.
But I kept going. There were many times when I wanted to give up, but the feeling I got from learning something new was more rewarding than the feeling I got from stopping. My methods for learning Italian were:
Twice monthly hour long conversation lessons on Preply
Weekly self-study using my grammar books and Duolingo
Three weeks of intensive Italian school here in Napoli
Without a doubt, what helped me learn the fastest was going to intensive Italian school. That really helped me gain my biggest strides and I’m hoping to continue school next year.
I confess, I thought I would be farther along than where I am now. I still struggle with conversation every day. This has also challenged me to think about what “success” means for me in Italian. I’ve had a very complicated relationship with success and being a beginner is helping me practice new ways to change my definition. “Old me” might have said, “I need to pass the certification level for B2” to check it off my list. As I reflected back on my progress in Italian, I realized something: the reasons behind why I want to learn Italian are more important than checking off any certification.
Learning Italian is something I will never earn any money from, it won’t help my career, and I probably won’t use it once I move back to the United States. Also, none of my close community will ever see my progress or give me validation about my improvements. In a world where we are constantly seeking validation and feedback it feels nice to have this just to myself. In other words, there is no reason for me to learn Italian other than for my own intrinsic pleasure and joy.
So what does “success” look like for me in Italian next year? Here is a list of things I would like to accomplish:
Speaking without fear of being wrong (repeating the mantra: mistakes help me learn faster)
Speaking kindly to myself about the progress I’ve made (switching from doing something out of shame to doing something for pleasure)
Having better comprehension skills, especially in Napoli where many people have an accent or speak half Neapolitan/half Italian
Feeling more confident speaking on the telephone in Italian for things like resolving internet issues, booking appointments, etc.
Enjoying the process of reading new books, listening to new music, and watching new films in Italian
Memorizing my Italian phone number and memorizing how to pronounce the letters of my name in Italian so I am well understood
Feeling comfortable initiating small talk in Italian
I’m committing to my “why” and focusing onwards! What are you a beginner at? How has your mindset helped you gain success?
I loved reading the way you embraced this journey, I’m an Aussie, currently living in the US but moving to Europe later this year, likely the south of France. Wherever I land, learning the language will be a goal… one that I’m feeling super anxious about! Reading your journey gave me a sense of hope. How long had you lived in Italy before you started your language learning?
It is so easy for someone on the outside to think language just comes easily for someone like you. Someone who has now learned two languages as an adult! I admit I have thought that without realizing all the effort you put in. It reminds me of your flute practicing in the morning before school. Always a dedicated learner.