I Quit My Job

How to find the courage to go after what you want

Two weeks ago, I finally did the impossible: I logged out of my work computer for the last time. I wish I could say I slammed the laptop shut and danced around with reckless abandon. Instead, signing out brought a wave of anxiety throughout my body. I had quit my good job without another one lined up in preparation for a year-long sabbatical. Was this a giant mistake?

Quitting my job brought up every insecurity I had, hidden in each nook and cranny of my body. The thoughts trolled rigorously around my mind: I worried that I wasn’t good enough, that it’s not fair to my partner to rely on him, that people would think I’m weak and dumb, that I’d never find another job or I’m not employable, or that I will lose my sense of security. My identity was also in question: who would I be if I wasn’t being productive?

Photo by Minh Pham on Unsplash

It took me years to sort through these fears and address them. There were a million reasons why I logically should and should not take a break from working: I’m living in Italy, and I’ll never have this chance again! The job market in California is bleak! I knew in my gut that I needed to take time off to recalibrate myself, but my logical brain came up with reasons to shut down my desire.

“I observed in my own life that the biggest changes that I made and the things that had the biggest impact on me were almost never things that I started doing. They were things that I stopped doing."

-

Emily McDowell

in conversation with

Kirsten Powers

on Changing the Channel

Overall, I felt an overwhelming sense that I had to do this. I had to give myself this break. I’m so proud of myself for doing it! So how did I work through all of these fears and limiting beliefs? For anyone who is grappling with a life choice that might be difficult, below are some strategies I used to work through it.

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Reframe The Idea

I reframed the idea of quitting my job in my mind. Instead of thinking of myself as “unemployed” I began to see myself as a “free agent.” I could make the mental switch from being a victim to having an opportunity to explore new things.

Then, instead of saying I was “quitting my job” I adopted the term “sabbatical”. The term was originally used for academics and implies that you will have a job saved for you. Even though this is not the case for me, by switching my thinking to “I’m going on a sabbatical” I changed my perspective on the break.

Once I had this term in mind, I started to reframe the idea of taking a break as lazy and selfish as something that could improve my professional work. I watched this Ted Talk by Stefan Sagmeister, who closes his marketing agency every seven years for a year-long break. He says his best ideas have come from sabbatical years.

Finally, I also read this inspiring piece called, “Quit your job” by Wolf Tivy. I began to see taking a break from working as a personal development opportunity and giving myself time to explore my interests.

Focus on your Vision

Focusing on a bigger vision can help you from getting distracted by the details and tests you encounter along the way. Whenever I would get scared or start to back down, I would focus on my vision: spending a year in Italy, taking writing classes, and cooking nourishing food. Focusing on your vision keeps you from making concessions to getting what you want.

Meditate and Journal Around your Blocks

When I found myself stewing on the reasons why this wouldn’t be a good idea - I challenged the thought by inquiring about the root of it. Why did I believe that to be true? Was this coming from a past experience? A comment someone said in passing? Somehow, these limiting beliefs got to my subconscious and became a learned thought. I started meditating on how I could “unteach” myself these ideas. I often think of this quote by Marianne Williamson: “Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learned here.”

Find People Who’ve Already Done It

My best friend, a very successful architect and project manager, started her sabbatical about 8 months before I did. She is working on fulfilling creative projects and prioritizing the needs of her family. This was huge for me to “see to believe” it could work out for me too. Plus, some of my friends in Italy have taken time off of work to explore their interests and it worked out for them! Friendships really do expand what is possible for you.

What about you? What is the scariest thing you’ve done? How have you addressed your fears?

Here are some resources for those considering a sabbatical for themselves.

• How to Sabbatical: A Tactical Guide, Cissy Hu

• The Ultimate Guide and Reasons to Take a Sabbatical, Paul Millard

And shoutout to fellow Substackers who are on sabbatical and encouraged me!

• Sarah Jacobson
  at the Grand Weekly who has written two books on her sabbatical while job searching!

• Cécile Marion
  who writes about Sabbaticals here.

• Caitlyn Lubas
  who writes You Are Where You Go and is an expert group trip planner!

• Michelle Elisabeth Varghese
  who writes on Substack and also launched a course about sabbaticals here.