losing a friend

on loss of words

I had something else prepared to write today, but I felt compelled to write about my friend Chris. Yesterday I learned of his unexpected passing. We were friends all throughout college and while we went our separate ways after I left DC, I have nothing but very fond memories of us together. It is alarming to lose a friend this young, so tragically and unexpectedly, and it makes me question my own life authenticity. Am I leaving it all on the table, here and now? Am I telling my people I love and support them? This was a person who had his whole life ahead of him; a loving girlfriend, his own business, wonderful friends and family. This was also a person who was also very well-regarded by his friends, family, business community, and others. Life doesn’t seem to make sense when things like this happen.

homecoming a few years after graduation

Chris was a “big” person, in that he was very tall, had a commanding voice, and a very social and warm attitude. He always very recognizable not only for his height but also because he wore the same thing around campus; timberland boots, jeans, a t-shirt, and a mechanical pencil behind his ear. He was in school for engineering but he wasn’t happy sitting in class; he was a do-er and liked building things. He was often surrounded by his amazing group of guys friends who were all very good men. They were silly, fun, respectful, smart, hard working, and protective over us. Looking back, us girls didn’t realize how lucky we were to be friends with such gentleman. In my late twenties I sort of “forgot” that men like this existed in the world. Chris’ friend Conor said they described each other as “oak trees” and I thought that was so fitting: solid, dependable, giving.

giving my friend grace a tractor ride

In our last conversation Chris and I talked about it was so easy to bump into each other in the college cafeteria and how much we missed the ease of platonic, caring, friendships in daily life. He encouraged me on my business and on my marriage and wished the best for me.

I think my readers could learn a lot about how to be a good friend by knowing about Chris. I am so lucky we got to speak to each other recently and I’m so sad for the many people who loved him. I hope you can reach out to a friend you haven’t spoken with in a while and let them know you’re rooting for them, just like Chris did for me.