normalize changing your mind

having the hard conversation

The first time I ever heard the word “chastity” I had no idea what it meant. I was sitting in mass during my Sunday schedule: roll out of bed, drive up the street to Immaculate Conception Church, attend mass for an hour and then another 2 hours of CCD before donuts and eggs and bacon. I got in trouble for disrespecting God by not brushing my hair or by dressing too casually. I volunteered as an altar server for years, occasionally working at weddings and coveting my $20 envelope after mass. My alb was chronically too short due to my tall frame; my mom would scold me for my giant white sweat socks showing when I was serving at mass. My entire family was very involved at church and contributing to mass was imperative; we had to sing and were part of the church choir, we carried woven baskets with giant sticks for collection, we brought up the holy eucharist or volunteered in the church garden. At the end of every mass we said a group prayer to end abortion. Every month or so, a guest would speak during the homily about the importance of chastity and being the center of family life. Many members of my church protested in front of hospitals that performed abortions. It seemed logical to me as a teenager that killing babies was bad. Why would anyone kill babies?