How Italy has changed me from a feline hater to a dog mom wannabe 🐶

What it takes to be a pet parent

Recently I met a woman who has multiple pet rats. We were out to dinner with Mr. Brenna’s work colleague, let’s call her Kate, and her innocent get-to-know-you question, “do you have any pets?” took us down a rabbit hole (no pun intended). While we are pet-less, we learned that she has not only a few intelligent rats but also two fluffy Angora pet rabbits roaming her house all day. This caught me off guard - I’ve never met anyone with pet rats before. Pets have always been a foreign concept to me, as I’ve never had one except for my betta fish Angel, whose tank I rarely cleaned, and who died when I was “away on a trip”. To this day I’m not sure if my mom flushed him down the toilet.

Ever since meeting Kate, I’ve been thinking about the moral character required to be a pet parent. Kate was so conscious about her choices: she knew she loved animals but that her work schedule required something low maintenance. She also considered the square feet of her home, the upkeep required for the animals, and the needs of her other family members. Perhaps most importantly, she is not afraid to give her pets lots of love. She knows their personalities and how to keep them happy.

I have never considered getting a dog in the past because I’ve always been afraid of dogs. Two angry beagles lived behind me growing up, and they bit me when I was younger. I still remember running through the yard, their loud barking terrifying me as they chased me through the bushes, nipping at my ankles. Over the years, I’ve attempted to work on my fears by exposing myself to pets more often. The first challenge was to go full circle and babysit Alfie, an aging beagle, to prove to myself that I had “healed” from my beagle fears. Alfie survived, although I was hesitant to let him in my bed at night.

Once I passed that first test, I pushed myself for more overnight babysitting. I fell in love with Miley, an energetic mini Australian shepherd, and my friend’s three-legged Tijuana rescue cat Edgar. My weekend stints paled in comparison to when I decided to move into a house with three dogs (owned by my roommates) in San Diego. One fateful night, as we were all sleeping, our home was infiltrated by raccoons. Luckily my roommate’s active Frenchie named Winston came to our rescue, defended our honor, and then humped Mr. Brenna’s leg.

Sweet Miley was my landlord’s dog and kept me company when I first moved to San Diego and didn’t know anyone. I loved her so much.

I often don’t understand a pet’s behavior or how to make them happy. Mr. Brenna always says that I’m overthinking it, that most dogs just want a good rub down or a treat, but I am a highly sensitive person and I need my environment to be harmonious. I don’t want an animal to be in distress while under my care. I want to be more like Kate, who knows how to make sure everyone has everything they need. Once, a person I was romantically interested in told me my lack of pet ownership was a red flag - that I lack compassion.

I can see how my lack of compassion plays out while I observe the dogs and cats of Napoli. When I first arrived, I was surprised by how inhospitable the environment is for pets: it’s crowded and very hot, there is not a blade of grass or a park to be found, and people live in smaller apartments. Most of the cats live on the street and are fed by the citizens. Neapolitans brave enough to have dogs walk around the streets carrying a spray bottle to dilute their dog’s pee on the cobblestone street. What an act of charity. None of the dogs I see are neutered. Neutering is seen as unnatural and expensive. It’s jarring to my American eye.

Dogs are so beloved in Italy, when a dog walks down the street, it’s as if Diego Maradona himself has graced us with his presence. When my American friend walks around with his golden retriever, he is stopped every minute by Neapolitans who want to take a photo with him, asking him if the dog is a boy or a girl, what his name is, and what breed of dog he is. I have a hard time buying into that level of euphoria.

the nightly doggie meetup

There’s also the allure of the informal nightly dog meetup. Every evening in the middle of the pedestrian street in our neighborhood, dogs and their owners gather to see and be seen. This is where I first saw the overweight basset hound whose poor big white belly grazes the cobblestones when he walks about town. Finally, a spark of tenderheartedness shone through: it wasn’t right for this dog’s poor meatball belly to get so scratched up all the time! I was so worried about him that I mentioned him to my friend who has an Italian rescue dog and frequents the doggie meetups.

“Oh, are you talking about Kevin Costner?”

“Excuse me, who?”

“Kevin Costner is the basset hound’s name. Italians often name their dogs after American celebrities”. Apparently, there is also a Queensland Healer named Pamela Anderson. Regardless of his funny name, I was assured that Kevin Costner was well looked after.

Despite my fears, questionable level of compassion, and living in a place that would be difficult for pets, I’ve recently been thinking about getting a dog. I want to squash these limitations about myself once and for all. Even if it might not be the most comfortable for me at first, I have a lot of love to give. Maybe there’s a dog out there who has a lot of love to give me too. I’ve been thinking about a particular style of Italian dog called a Lagotto Romagnolo that is known for its intelligence and ability to snuff out truffles. It’s also a water dog, so I can see myself taking him or her out on the paddle board or for long walks and fitting in with our family’s lifestyle.

Photo of a Lagotto Romagnolo by Jack Plant on Unsplash

On the other hand, I am wary about picking up dog poop, excessive slobber, and potentially sharing a bed with this little guy. Am I too selfish of a person? Or do I just need a little more exposure to see if I can get over these hangups? For the time being, I’m proceeding with caution. My hypothetical pet might live better back home in California. One thing is for sure, it’s that I’m opening my heart to the possibility of a furry friend instead of running in fear.

Do you have a pet? Do you think that some places are more suited to having a pet than others? What if you really want a pet, but can’t make it happen for one reason or another?