Transform your Life at Any Age
In defense of BRAVERY
How often do you hear the words, “oh I’m too old for that,” or “maybe if I were 10 years younger”? Time flies by, and we’re in the same office park, drinking from the same water cooler, wondering why we never started that pottery class or took the Italian course.
Age has the faulty power to limit us because society will tell us it’s “too late”. You can’t go back to school in your fifties. You can’t date in your sixties. You can’t switch careers, move abroad, or start a company - you’re too old for that! It’s an easy excuse that has become accepted as normal conversation.
Age bias - making assumptions about what you can and cannot do based on your age - is destroying our creativity. It’s disheartening to feel like we’re “running late” from what people our age are supposed to have “achieved”. I think it’s a load of crap! You can do anything you want regardless of your age.
Look for “examples” or “expanders” who can help show you how it’s done
If there is something you want to do, look for other people who are already doing it. What do you both have in common? How can you adopt their mentality? I recently read an amazing profile of Isabella Ducrot, a Neapolitan artist known for her work in textiles and paper. She has always been a collector of fine art, but only started producing her own work later in life. She is now exhibiting around the world at age 93. In her spare time, she studies philosophy and writes, and has also written three non-fiction books.
“I think life, for women, begins at sixty,” she told me. “Because then we begin to be free.”
As a writer who has only begun to take her writing more seriously in the past year, Isabella’s story is incredibly impactful to me. She wakes up every day to focus on her art and does not think twice about her age. In fact, she regularly avoids talking about the future.
Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx and participant in the Giving Pledge, is someone I look up to. Recently, she posted on social media about what she was doing when everyone else was getting married and having children in her twenties and thirties. I imagine she was busy growing her company (she started Spanx at 27), but she also filled her life with other awesome hobbies like skiing and ice skating. I’m sure there were times when she worried about finding a partner or whether or not she would have kids - but in the end, everything worked out for her. When I was single, I would have loved seeing this.
By Walking, One Makes the Path
You don’t need to quit your job or move to Italy to try something that you’re excited about. You can take one small step in the right direction. For example, a few years ago I really wanted to learn to compost. At the time, I was living in urban Philadelphia and did not have access to green space. I met someone who told me about a nearby community garden project. I joined the team and started volunteering there, bringing my scraps for compost, watering the veggies, and dumping my coffee grinds into the raised beds. I couldn’t believe how much fulfillment it brought me to dig my hands in the dirt once per week after work. This small action helped me to trust myself, so by the time I was ready to move to San Diego, I felt confident in my decision.
Want to start lifting weights? Joan from “Train with Joan” started strength training at 70, and now, at 78, she has a business teaching other people to do it too. Just one action - starting to lift weights - created a ripple effect in her life, and last year she was on the cover of Women’s Health Magazine. You have no idea what the future holds for you!
Celebrate what is important to you
Recently I caught onto the trend of shouting out things I did to “reinvent myself” in my thirties, after being inspired by someone in their fifties. I love reading these lists not only because I find them so inspiring, but also for the chance to celebrate doing life differently.
Emily Hart’s goal was to visit all of the US National Parks. When she accomplished this goal, her friends threw her a surprise National Parks party. This really moved me, not only because I can relate to being seen and understood by my friends, but also because we don’t do enough to celebrate the nontraditional milestones in life. Baby showers and bridal showers are great - but have you considered throwing a “retirement party” for your friend’s sabbatical?
The Goal isn’t “Success” - it’s Bravery
Yes, it’s nice that Train with Joan found success, Isabella Ducrot is showing international exhibitions, and Sara Blakeley became a billionaire. But that’s not the point. We can’t all start companies or live in Roman palazzos. Being brave means admitting your desires to yourself and taking tiny actions towards them.
I’m sure there’s someone out there who inspires you to do things on your own timeline. Please share in the comments below someone who has inspired you to walk your own path!
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“Wanderer, your footsteps are the road, and nothing more; wanderer, there is no road, the road is made by walking. By walking one makes the road, and upon glancing behind one sees the path that never will be trod again. Wanderer, there is no road-- Only wakes upon the sea.
Caminante, son tus huellas el camino, y nada más; caminante, no hay camino, se hace camino al andar. Al andar se hace camino, y al volver la vista atrás se ve la senda que nunca se ha de volver a pisar. Caminante, no hay camino, sino estelas en la mar.”
―Antonio Machado, Campos de Castilla
Cover photo by Peter Conlan on Unsplash
I love older women who are unapologetically doing whatever the hell they want. It makes me look forward to aging rather than fear it.
Also, I saw at the bottom that you have a guide to Ischia and I was like “why didn’t I buy Brenna’s guide?! I was just there!!” Then I realized I was in ISTRIA, not Ischia…there is not enough coffee in the world 🫠
One day at our bookstore in Puerto Morelos, in walked an older woman. The store was otherwise empty, I was at the counter, and I heard her say, as she was twirling around pointing at the shelves, “Well, all right girl. All right!” Oh hi I said. I don’t think we’ve met. “I’m Geneva. I'm your neighbor, I live in Peten Pech. You did a fabulous job with this store.” She went on to elaborate she’d moved to Cancun at 68. Hurricane Gilberto, a class 5, demolished her condo. With insurance $ she bought a beachfront lot 3km north of us on a near empty stretch of beach with a shack on it.She was originally from Oklahoma. Went to college, only woman in her class,studied psychiatristry, married, had a daughter, later divorced at 60– and eventually moved to Mexico solo. We became fast friends. Her OK accent with Spanish was a hoot as was she. She hung out at the bookstore and we had such fun times. Everyone was entranced by her— even the mafia dude ‘undercover’ living at far end of the beach near her. She totally reinvented herself. Smart as a whip, very political ( she’d be so bummed re US politics of last 8 years) and was a blast to be with. One can never be too old! She woulda loved the trainer from Tulum. Great post! Forever young, let’s hear it for that.