writing in my underwear

unexpectedly resonating with an Icelandic artist

During our visit to Copenhagen we went to the Louisiana Museum. The museum itself is a gorgeous historic building which expands through nature and has rolling hills leading right to the ocean. There was a big exhibition from the artist Ragnar Kjartansson during our visit. He is my new favorite artist! He presented a moving interactive symphony shot in a historic New York estate, a musical collaboration with The National, a crooner worth Elvis bad boy ballad, and a dynamic and funny piece about mother / son relations. So much to dig into!

I was surprised when I walked into a large gallery room and was immediately drawn to his paintings, randomly and haphazardly hung from floor to ceiling. There were hundreds of paintings featuring a sad man in a Speedo bathing suit, looking out onto the Venice canals. Sometimes he was seen smoking, drinking, or playing guitar as the bottles piled up next to the couch. Despite the bright colors of Venice, there was an overall sad energy to the man, who seemed at odds with the external world outside his studio.

I felt so understood in these paintings. All summer long, it was too hot to wear any clothes, so I just walked from room to room in my underwear, contemplating my life’s purpose and what I was doing in Italy. I hopelessly looked out the window, in awe of my beautiful view, but lost as to how to interact with the world beyond my window - not speaking the language, not working here, not participating in life here - not even leaving the house in fear of the heat. What is my purpose here? I wondered. I also felt a sense of desire for my bohemian artistry to come alive. I had hoped my time in Italy would be full of day drinking Montepulciano, forgetting to eat and subsisting off of olives and writing in my notebook. The reality was very far from the truth, and the dream may have been a bit deluded.

I learned that these paintings were created in 2009 as part of a performance piece. After the 2008 economic crisis in Iceland, Kjartansson spent six months representing Iceland at the Venice Biennale. Kjartansson wanted to play into the bohemian artist he always wanted to be, which was juxtaposed against the view of what a traditional male should be doing during an economic downturn. Once I understood this context and how that played with traditional male identity - I related to it even more. What a radical act - to spend six months making art - when the world around you tells you you are nothing if you are not working or producing.

Luckily for me, the weather has cooled down and I’m committing to my writing practice without the booze and melancholy. Maybe I don’t have to have a purpose here except to have a good time. I don’t need to rush into learning Italian, I don’t need to do anything dramatic - I just need to relax and enjoy this experience. In fact, I like it so much here, I’ve even put on pants.

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Since I was so curious about Kjartansson, I started reading more about his work and his process on the Louisiana Youtube Channel. He says, “making art is a fun hobby”. Is that the way I see my writing hobby? Yes, it is!

After hearing so much about being “authentic” from the wellness world, I was also astounded to hear him say, “Me, coming from a theatre family, I didn't feel this authenticity. I still don't feel authentic. And I guess that's authentic about me." Even really successful people feel pressure to be “authentic”. The interview is here if you want to have a listen!