Do Something that Scares You

Starting Small in the Waves and in Flight 🌊🪂

Last week, I ran off a mountain top and into the air with a 90-pound German woman strapped to my back. Dangling over the mountains with nothing but some thin cords and a big napkin keeping us afloat, I thought about how good it feels to do the thing that terrifies you.

I remember talking to my friend and neighbor Jess during the pandemic. We were pacing up and down the small deck of our apartment courtyard, wearing masks and trying to keep six feet of distance while also taking advantage of socialization as two single women living alone, desperate for human connection. We did what single women in their thirties did during the pandemic, we dreamt up new lives using the guidance of self-help experts like Elizabeth Gilbert. Jess said to me, “Living an authentic life seems chaotic. Elizabeth Gilbert has quit careers, moved around the world, married and remarried, and shaved her head. I want stability in my life”.

We both agreed life upheaval is taxing, but you don’t have to “Elizabeth Gilbert” your life to feel alive. Yes, I did recently move to Italy and quit my job, but I didn’t start that way. I went to a dance fitness class with a 5-minute twerking song. I joined a competitive axe-throwing league when I’ve never thrown axes before. I parasailed in Germany for fifteen minutes. Small things can jolt the energetic life force back into you. It’s also muscle training for when the time comes to face bigger fears. My piece today is about doing something that scared me - cold swimming.

The day of my first cold swim I felt sick. I was scared and I didn’t want to do it alone. I invited my friends, but they wanted to stay huddled in their winter coats, protected by their comfort.

One brave friend showed up. We peeled off our sweatshirts, our sweatpants, and our woolen socks as the sun went down that windy evening. The cold air beat across our chests as we stood at the shore and gazed out into the deep grey of the wild waves. At the count of three, we squealed and pranced into the ocean together. The sea was tumultuous and rough, threatening to throw us into the rocks or pull us away into the depths of the ocean. With each step we waded in the frigid water enveloped us, shortening our breath and attacking our bodies.

We were slapped by the waves, sputtering salt water out of our mouths, shrieking in delight and aliveness. Soon we became in symbiosis - the air, the water, our bodies - and the sky turned a glorious color pastel pink, then lavender purple, and then a juicy summer peach in the middle of winter. 

People who stood along the cliffs shouted that we were mad, but I saw the glimmer in their eyes. They wanted to be like us - savage, wild, nuts. 

As the sun went down, our breathless bodies wobbled to the shore. We felt the afterburn. The tingling, the natural high, the sense of immortality that pumped through our veins. It lasted on our walk home, all the way to the hot shower that greeted us upon arrival.

What surprised me was that I dreaded each session and I longed for the next one. I loved it and I loathed it.

I wrote this piece during

Abby Rasminsky

‘s Summer School! What do you think? What do you do that scares you? How do you push yourself to feel more alive?

Recently, I’ve been asking myself “why” I publish on Substack. It’s one of the things I do to push myself. I was compelled to create because I wanted to talk about my JUICY (sometimes terrifying) LIFE. Since then, I’ve created an amazing supportive community of readers and been able to write about a variety of topics I’m very passionate about. It has been very creatively fulfilling. I want to know more from my readers: what do you like or dislike about this newsletter?

Also, are there any problems you have that I can help you solve? Here are some examples of things I can offer you. Do you feel interested in any of these offers?

Maybe you feel compelled to leave me a comment with feedback. As always, thank you for your readership and for allowing me to create such a wonderful community.

Other ways to work together:

• Join my free full-moon journaling workshop on Sept 15

• Buy my guide to Napoli

• If you need any assistance planning your next trip to Italy, I’m here to help! Simply reply to this email.