This was a brilliant comparison of Italian vs American culture. Also being from NJ, I feel like there's even more fascination with Italy because seemingly everyone you know has ancestry that can be traced back there.
Funny story: I live at the bottom of a big hill. One day I was starting my drive up the hill and a well dressed Neapolitan woman in big boots flagged me down and asked for a ride up the hill (in Italian). I opened up the car door, and she barreled into my tiny, messy car. When she heard me speak English to my husband she goes (in English) "oh you're American, I went to middle school in NJ". She then blabs on about it, saying she still has cousins there, she loves it, asks me to stop, gets out and says, "OK see you around!" and walks off.
So many Neapolitans say to me, "can I come in your suitcase? I have a cousin in NJ". They are also a bit obsessed with the States, and especially the grand allure of New York City.
Great article, Brenna! Definitely on point when it comes to the American independence obsession. Oh, and efficientcy. When we first moved to Piemonte, I would leave the house with a list of 5 things to do snd would be happy if I managed to complete ONE 😂. It frustrated me but I had to get used to it because I surely was not going to change the system. Life has its pros and cons everywhere. There's a lot of good in Italy. Thanks for a great read. 🧡
Aw thanks for reading Diana! Yes, my rule is the 50% rule. If I leave the house to do a task, 50% chance it won't happen and I have to set my expectation accordingly :) It's a bit higher than 1/5 haha maybe I should adjust.
Yes, I have known a few "cheese-heads" that love to drink at football games. I am loving this sobriety and sober curious movement. In California there are lots of dry "liquor shops" and dry bars. I also really appreciate lots of non-alcoholic drink options at restaurants. I hope the trend continues!
My parents have come to visit, they loved it here in Italy. It's so sweet how all the Neapolitans assured my parents we were well taken care of.
Ah, I can't compare to Americans of course but as a Dutchie moving to Milan I was really thrown by the amount of spritzes consumed at like 11AM (normal 'drinking time' starts around 4PM where I'm from). Also the prices of alcohol are really low compared to the Netherlands, I'm suspecting because of less tax. I have a theory this is because a sociable drink has high value in Italian culture, like coffee and pizza (haha. Exception seems to be gelato.). You probably pay at least double the price in the Netherlands and it would be considered a fancy drink!
OK that was it, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
Yes that's true! Americans drink at all hours though so I wasn't really surprised by that. I did notice other countries have higher taxes on alcohol, which I'm not opposed to!
Something I am learning 😂 I go to Bavaria quite a bit due to the proximity to Italy and the cooler summer weather. I learned quickly that the weather in the rest of Germany is rarely sunny! ☀️
Oh absolutely! It's interesting to see how truly similar Spain & Italy are cause you literally touched on all the main points: socializing (community mindset), quality food, and family. Family is everything here, if we don't visit my partner's parents for more than 2 weeks in a row, we start to get daily comments "when is the next visit!?". I like the mentality overall, especially if I end up having a family here, although I definitely have my American independence tendencies of like, sometimes I just need a weekend alone haha. And also the eldery respect thing that you touched on in the family piece is VERY real here too, I've written about my elderly neighbor that really highlights that point.
Hi Brenna, I relate to your comment about family. I live alone in Florence. I have no family in Italy and while I appreciate the Italians' focus on it, it can make it even more obvious to me that I don't have family...
Just stumbled onto Tulips and loving it! Thanks for doing what I haven’t had the chance to do — move across the globe to my most favorite home-away-from-home (ah, Italy) and make it your own — and thank you for writing about it with such beauty, honesty and kindness.
You’ve set me thinking about the application of culture in new ways (and to think, I was a Social Anthropology major in college). I’m born & raised Massachusetts; have lived the last 30 years in Los Angeles (and raised two kids); and have visited Rome for 14+ years on my “Mom’s annual week by herself in Rome”. Your article shined a light on how much I took from my Italian trips and applied at home — namely, the importance of family. I didn’t grow up in a tight-knit family; nor did my husband — yet, we created a very deep, “family-first” experience with our own nuclear family. Until your article, I hadn’t realized that was because of Italy. So many of our most dominant family traditions were lifted from my Italian visits; plagiarized from my Italian friendships. The most meaningful? Meals. Meals are the locus of our interactions. Long conversations over homemade dinners every night together. Big extended meals on the weekends with friends, neighbors, houseguests. Morning catch-ups over cappuccino. Extended dinners with espresso. We’d be lost without them.
This was a brilliant comparison of Italian vs American culture. Also being from NJ, I feel like there's even more fascination with Italy because seemingly everyone you know has ancestry that can be traced back there.
Funny story: I live at the bottom of a big hill. One day I was starting my drive up the hill and a well dressed Neapolitan woman in big boots flagged me down and asked for a ride up the hill (in Italian). I opened up the car door, and she barreled into my tiny, messy car. When she heard me speak English to my husband she goes (in English) "oh you're American, I went to middle school in NJ". She then blabs on about it, saying she still has cousins there, she loves it, asks me to stop, gets out and says, "OK see you around!" and walks off.
So many Neapolitans say to me, "can I come in your suitcase? I have a cousin in NJ". They are also a bit obsessed with the States, and especially the grand allure of New York City.
Here in Ireland almost everyone I meet has close relatives in the States--sons, daughters, brothers, sisters. Similar to Italy, I imgine.
Yes. I have Irish heritage and I’ve also been a bit obsessed with visiting!
Great article, Brenna! Definitely on point when it comes to the American independence obsession. Oh, and efficientcy. When we first moved to Piemonte, I would leave the house with a list of 5 things to do snd would be happy if I managed to complete ONE 😂. It frustrated me but I had to get used to it because I surely was not going to change the system. Life has its pros and cons everywhere. There's a lot of good in Italy. Thanks for a great read. 🧡
Aw thanks for reading Diana! Yes, my rule is the 50% rule. If I leave the house to do a task, 50% chance it won't happen and I have to set my expectation accordingly :) It's a bit higher than 1/5 haha maybe I should adjust.
I am Bangladeshi and my mom always asks me "what you have you eaten" even as a 37 year old man. hah, good to know I have that in common with Italians!
I wish America saw alcohol as Italian culture does. Here in Wisconsin, alcohol is excessive.
Enjoyed this read. And your real feelings about not having easy access to family in a family-oriented culture. Hopefully they come visit!
Hahaha cultures with concerned moms :)
Yes, I have known a few "cheese-heads" that love to drink at football games. I am loving this sobriety and sober curious movement. In California there are lots of dry "liquor shops" and dry bars. I also really appreciate lots of non-alcoholic drink options at restaurants. I hope the trend continues!
My parents have come to visit, they loved it here in Italy. It's so sweet how all the Neapolitans assured my parents we were well taken care of.
Thanks for reading Istiaq!
Great perspectives on this topic.
Ah, I can't compare to Americans of course but as a Dutchie moving to Milan I was really thrown by the amount of spritzes consumed at like 11AM (normal 'drinking time' starts around 4PM where I'm from). Also the prices of alcohol are really low compared to the Netherlands, I'm suspecting because of less tax. I have a theory this is because a sociable drink has high value in Italian culture, like coffee and pizza (haha. Exception seems to be gelato.). You probably pay at least double the price in the Netherlands and it would be considered a fancy drink!
OK that was it, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
Yes that's true! Americans drink at all hours though so I wasn't really surprised by that. I did notice other countries have higher taxes on alcohol, which I'm not opposed to!
Great explanation, Brenna! Germans also tend to have this fascination with Italian culture, I would say primarily for the food and the weather.
Something I am learning 😂 I go to Bavaria quite a bit due to the proximity to Italy and the cooler summer weather. I learned quickly that the weather in the rest of Germany is rarely sunny! ☀️
Hahaha, yeah at least in Northern Germany where the beaches are.
Very similar observations with life here in Spain as well, loved reading your reflections!
Is family as big as a part of life in Spain as it is in Italy?
Oh absolutely! It's interesting to see how truly similar Spain & Italy are cause you literally touched on all the main points: socializing (community mindset), quality food, and family. Family is everything here, if we don't visit my partner's parents for more than 2 weeks in a row, we start to get daily comments "when is the next visit!?". I like the mentality overall, especially if I end up having a family here, although I definitely have my American independence tendencies of like, sometimes I just need a weekend alone haha. And also the eldery respect thing that you touched on in the family piece is VERY real here too, I've written about my elderly neighbor that really highlights that point.
Hi Brenna, I relate to your comment about family. I live alone in Florence. I have no family in Italy and while I appreciate the Italians' focus on it, it can make it even more obvious to me that I don't have family...
Just stumbled onto Tulips and loving it! Thanks for doing what I haven’t had the chance to do — move across the globe to my most favorite home-away-from-home (ah, Italy) and make it your own — and thank you for writing about it with such beauty, honesty and kindness.
You’ve set me thinking about the application of culture in new ways (and to think, I was a Social Anthropology major in college). I’m born & raised Massachusetts; have lived the last 30 years in Los Angeles (and raised two kids); and have visited Rome for 14+ years on my “Mom’s annual week by herself in Rome”. Your article shined a light on how much I took from my Italian trips and applied at home — namely, the importance of family. I didn’t grow up in a tight-knit family; nor did my husband — yet, we created a very deep, “family-first” experience with our own nuclear family. Until your article, I hadn’t realized that was because of Italy. So many of our most dominant family traditions were lifted from my Italian visits; plagiarized from my Italian friendships. The most meaningful? Meals. Meals are the locus of our interactions. Long conversations over homemade dinners every night together. Big extended meals on the weekends with friends, neighbors, houseguests. Morning catch-ups over cappuccino. Extended dinners with espresso. We’d be lost without them.
Thanks for the great read.
Love this. Feeling the same as an expat in Paris!